Phase 1: Pony! Pony! Pony! Dress it up in pink! No, I don’t want the blue ribbon, I want the PINK one. Yay pony, you’re my bestest friend!!!
Phase 2: Mom, we rode our ponies and then went swimming and then we rode again and then we played horse show and then helped pick rocks in the outdoor and then we rode our ponies and … Where’s my saddle? I don’t know, I didn’t use it today.
Phase 3: Just a few more minutes and then I promise I’ll get off. But my trainer said that if I wanted to go to the show next month I had to ride without stirrups for at least 10 minutes every day.
Phase 4: I will probably die without the trendy new helmet and saddle that everyone has. If you don’t buy it for me I’ll be the laughing stock of the circuit. It will ruin my life!
Phase 5: Yeah, I’m probably going to forgo college and just turn pro after I age out of the Juniors in a year. I mean, I’ve been riding since I was like, born, and my trainer makes a good living riding horses all day, so I’m pretty much going to be moving to Florida with a string at WEF next year.
Phase 6: What do you mean you won’t pay for my horse shows anymore? And he can’t live at A-show trainer’s barn? Focus on getting a degree in something useful and SELL HIM?!?! But…but… Oh look – college boys!
Phase 7: I just spent all my tip money from this week on a lesson at this barn whose Facebook page was a gross exaggeration of their customers. The trainer didn’t even know my saddle was a County, even if it is an older model, and wouldn’t let me jump higher than 2′. I really need a new job that actually uses this stupid degree.
Phase 8: Mom, I just got this awesome off the track Thoroughbred for really cheap! He needs a little time off, some weight and a lot of work but I just know he’s a diamond in the rough. I’m excited to do all the work myself and then flip him for a serious profit. So, could I borrow a few bucks to get him a new blanket and wraps? I’ll pay you back, promise.
Phase 9: I just picked up this awesome show coat and a pair of breeches at the resale shop- they hardly even look used. I’m glad I bought a pick up rather than that compact car so I can borrow my friend’s trailer and take him to the schooling show this weekend.
Phase 10: Trainer, would you ride my horse this week? I have to travel again for work and I don’t want him to sit before the show. Besides, he always goes better when you’ve been on him a few times!
Phase 11: Here’s a bag of carrots, horse friend. Sorry I don’t have time to ride today, but I’ve got to get the kids to soccer and put dinner on the table before bedtime. I promise I’ll ride next week.
Phase 12: So this year we are heading down to Kentucky for a few weeks before heading over to Traders Point. Then we’ll try to make it to at least one of the indoors shows if she qualifies in the Big Eq. My horse? Yeah, we had a lovely hack in the field the other day and I popped him over a few X’s about a month ago, but I haven’t had much time to ride and he’s serviceably sound on a good day now.
Phase 13: There’s an entire bag of carrots in it for you if you don’t spook while giving pony rides to the grandkids…
Phase 14: Thank you, dear friend, for everything. Let’s just rest here by this tree a while and share an apple before walking back to the barn. Then I’ll brush your coat ’til it gleams, pick your stall again and make a nice warm bran mash. Maybe by the time we get there the pony kids will be done racing around bareback in their swimsuits…