When I Go

There has been another tragic death in the equestrian community, a life taken doing what she loved – this time an Australian eventer. I didn’t know this young woman personally, but I know who she likely was at the core of her being – someone who had such passion for horses and this sport that she pushed herself every single day. Someone I can relate to. As I read the comments on a Facebook page lamenting this loss, it was a mix of “this sport is too dangerous” to “she died doing what she loved most.” I choose the latter. Which inspired this piece. 


When I Go

When I go let it be with no regrets. Let it be with a sense of risk and reward, living life to the fullest and without fear.

When I go let it be due to pushing myself to those limits I may not have thought possible. Let it be with a sense of accomplishment and belief in myself that I could achieve all I once thought unattainable.

When I go please be proud. Proud that I tried and at times succeeded and at times failed. Proud I gave it my all every time out.

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When I go let it be with love. Let those who care about me celebrate my life, my passion, my commitment. Let them never wonder if I led a complacent life, wishing I would have done more.

When I go let there be no question I did my best. Never ask if I wanted it too much, because that is not in my vocabulary.

When I go please know the answer is yes – yes I loved with all too often reckless abandon. Yes I knew the danger. And yes, I choose the freedom which comes with it.


When I go do not let them mourn. Instead let me inspire. Inspire to greatness, in whatever form it may take.

When I go do not place blame. Do not think of what may have been if only. Instead know it was from you I drew the strength to believe in myself to try and for that I am forever grateful.

When I go hold him close. Cherish him the way I have. Keep him safe and love him with a full heart, as he is a part of me.

When I go, let me be with my horse.

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5 responses to “When I Go

  1. Michelle tomm

    May I copy and share this please. It strikes a chord with me. I lost my husband of 20 years in October at the age of 49. This speaks to my journey from that day forward and all my days prior. It speaks to how we lived up until his death.


  2. Beautifully written, thank you so much for sharing your words. Everytime my daughter sets out on course we know the risk involved and while I pray it never happens I also know it would be the only way she would chose to go.

  3. Leslie

    Beautiful — thank you! I just LOVE the picture of her as a little girl clutching her prize ribbon! My 12-year old jumps, and God forbid, if something happened, this is what she would say…

  4. Perfectly said and I agree wholeheartedly. When I go, let me be with my horse.

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